Scrubs - J.D. Quote #1091
J.D.: I'm having so much fun hanging out with you. Can you believe we've been talking two hours?
J.D.: Nah, while you were in the bathroom, I set the clock two hours ahead so you'd think time was just flying by.
Julie: Really? While I was in the bathroom, I wrote my name in the mirror with my finger so next time you took a shower and it fogged up, you'd think ghosts were telling you to be with me.
J.D.: [v.o.] Looking at her, I knew what the future held for Julie and me.
[fade to: J.D. and Julie looking much older as they sit on the couch:]
Julie: Oh, God, this mask is hot.
J.D.: Thanks for doing that. I wanted a picture of us old, you know? That way if one of us dies in a tragic skiing accident, we'll always have that memory of us together.
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: Why would Julie just take off like that? I'll bet you my body intimidated her. That's it. I am selling that Bowflex on Craigslist.
Quote from Dr. Cox
Dr. Cox: Now, Mrs. Wilk, you have developed an allergy to melphalan. However, I've come up with a new regimen that will enable us to continue treatment.
Mrs. Wilk: OK.
Carla: Oh, I think he described all the extra effort he put in so you would tell him what an amazing doctor he is.
Mrs. Wilk: Now that you've told me, it won't sound sincere.
Carla: He won't care.
Mrs. Wilk: Dr. Cox, you're amazing.
Dr. Cox: It's just my job.
Quote from J.D.
J.D.: [v.o.] From that moment on, it was the greatest date ever. We had so much in common.
Julie: I ride a scooter, I love Harry Potter so much I sometimes wish I was a wizard and I've hated sports since I was a kid.
J.D.: Me too! Do you ever, like, drift off and have weird fantasies?
[Julie's fantasy: Noticing that J.D. is distracted, Julie pops the waitresses large breasts with her fork]
J.D.: So do you want me to see if they'll give us some more coffee or do you want to just call it a night?
J.D.: [v.o.] And then she gave the world's best answer.
Quote from My Missed Perception
Mrs. Wilk: I choose Dr. Dorian.
J.D.: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I don't even believe it! I don't believe it-lieve it-lieve it! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Yes! I'm shaking! Look at this! It's crazy-talk!
Mrs. Wilk: He played hearts with me all night.
Dr. Cox: [groans]
Mrs. Wilk: You're a very strange man, aren't you?
J.D.: I was a preemie.
Quote from My Long Goodbye
Dr. Cox: What the hell am I gonna do?
J.D.: [v.o.] Unfortunately for Dr. Cox, that's when Elliot walked by and showcased her oddest talent.
Elliot: Somebody just had a baby.
Dr. Cox: How do you know?
Elliot: My uterus is glowing.
J.D.: My mom had an uterus. I lived in it.
Quote from My Screw Up
Dr. Cox: Shower Shortz?
J.D.: For the man who has nothing to hide, but still wants to.