Dr. Kelso Quote #248

Quote from Dr. Kelso in My Missed Perception

Dr. Kelso: I'm 57, numbnuts.
J.D.: Really?
Dr. Kelso: I know they say 57 is the new 40-
J.D.: Who?
Dr. Kelso: But it seems all people see when they look in my direction is some old guy. Hell, just last week I was in the mall hanging out at Brookstone and some kid asked me if I was lost.
J.D.: Brookstone. Were you looking for gadgets, sir?
Dr. Kelso: If that's what you call trolling for mall ass, then yeah. The point is, you think Mrs. Wilk is old enough to die. I'm betting she doesn't agree.


 ‘My Missed Perception’ Quotes

Quote from J.D.

Mrs. Wilk: I choose Dr. Dorian.
J.D.: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I don't even believe it! I don't believe it-lieve it-lieve it! Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Yes! I'm shaking! Look at this! It's crazy-talk!
Mrs. Wilk: He played hearts with me all night.
Dr. Cox: [groans]
Mrs. Wilk: You're a very strange man, aren't you?
J.D.: I was a preemie.

Quote from J.D.

J.D.: Miss Brooks, your blood work looks fine. But I'd like to take one more sample, just for me.
[J.D. bites into the patients neck with his fangs and spits the blood out into a tube]
J.D.: You taste a little anemic. Get that down to the lab, buddy.
Keith: Right away, Dr. Acula.
J.D.: It's what they call me. How you doing?
J.D.: The end.
Turk: So Dr. Acula is a doctor and a vampire?
J.D.: He's both. And at the very end, I'm gonna put "Dr. Acula" across the screen, take that period, get it out of there, squish it together, it'll say "Dracula."
Turk: That is an awesome ending!
J.D.: Um, thank you for telling me what I already know, Turk.

Quote from J.D.

Dr. Kelso: I heard Mrs. Wilk gave you the axe.
J.D.: She said, "I've led a great life," and every doctor in the world knows that's code for "I'm ready to die."
Dr. Kelso: How old do you think I am, Dorian?
J.D.: [v.o.] Okay, there's no way to answer and not get in trouble. Change the subject.
J.D.: Sir, I would be honored if you and Enid would join me on Sunday for some homemade jambalaya.
Dr. Kelso: Well, it would be good for Enid to get out of the house.
J.D.: [v.o.] My God! He's thinking about it. Change the subject back!
J.D.: You're 78, sir.
Dr. Kelso: You think I'm that old?
J.D.: Jambalaya.