Dr. Cox: I've decided to no longer refer to you two as "pathetic."
J.D.: Well, thanks, Perry.
Dr. Cox: Instead, since my nephew gave me my very first thesaurus as a birthday present, I'm going to allow you to choose from the following, if you will. Miserable, pitiful, sorry, wretched, deplorable, regrettable or sad.
J.D.: "Wretched" sounds like Dickens. We'll go with wretched.