Carla: So, how did it go with Keith?
Elliot: I haven't told him yet. His whole family's in town for the wedding, and so my house is filled to the freaking rafters with the Dudemeisters.
J.D.: You know how my college girlfriend, Stacy, broke up with me? She arranged it so that when I came home from class, I was able to see her riding in pleasure beneath a big, brown butt.
Turk: How many times do I have to apologize for that?
J.D.: [holding bread rolls] I still have nightmares about your cheeks, Turk, just bouncing, and bouncing. I can't sleep.