J.D.: I want my meningitis patient back.
Dr. Cox: No. Hey, do you know any women who hate themselves enough to date me?
J.D.: Why'd you let me switch patients with you?
Dr. Cox: Because you asked me to. Oh, and because of your puppy-dog eyes.
J.D.: No, see, you're full of it. You knew I was scared. Why didn't you just tell me to go in there and deal with it?
Dr. Cox: Well, gosh, Newbie. I don't know what it was about that day. Maybe I hadn't had enough sleep. Maybe my mind was on other things. Maybe I didn't have enough fiber in my diet, and I failed to do my morning business. I don't know what the hell it was, but the bottom line is I didn't feel like spelling it out for you. And I know, I know, you want your little speech, and that's fine, because here it is. You're a doctor. You might get sick.
Get over it.
J.D.: Thank you. Now, can I have my patient back?
Dr. Cox: No. Because, aside from his weird Judy Blume obsession, I like him. You will be delousing Mr. Schaffer. Guy's like flypaper.
J.D.: Fantastic.
Dr. Cox: And, Belinda, do you know what else is real contagious? A big ol' smile!