David Quote #471
Patrick: And what are we doing over here?
David: Hmm. I'm just editing some of our engagement photos.
David: You look great. I look like I crawled out from under a bridge.
Quote from Roland
Roland: [on the phone] Yeah, uh, dark hair. Answers to the name "Stevie". Um, kind of looks like a vampire. A little skittish when approached. Um, you know, I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but if you have a taser, you may want to use it.
Quote from David
Patrick: Hey, have you given any more thought to, uh, when you wanna start telling people? I'm kinda scared to do it today, I don't think your mom would want anything upstaging opening night of the show.
David: Yeah, and I think we need that added hiccup, so...
Patrick: So, tomorrow then?
David: Yeah. I mean, I haven't really given it that much thought.
David: So one other option. What if, after the show tonight, we corralled a few people back to the motel? You know, we talk about the show for five to ten minutes, then maybe dim the lights, pop some bubbly, put some music on. I could stand up and give a speech. I'd look to you, you don't need to give a speech, but at this point I think Alexis will be getting misty, which will send sort of this intoxicating ripple effect through the room. Most people will be sobbing. And I'll be holding back tears, but the fact that I'm holding them back, I think, will make it all the more powerful. And you can be topping up drinks.
Patrick: Great to know you've barely given this any thought.
Quote from Roadkill
David: Are you hearing anything I'm saying?
Alexis: Yes. Stay off your phone. Wait for the delivery man to drop off whatever. You can trust me.
David: Okay, can I? Because the last time I left you in charge of something...
Alexis: Ugh! This is about those stupid Tamagotchi?
David: Actually it is.
Stevie: Okay guys.
Alexis: You left me with six of them, David. Taking care of that many is like a full-time job!
David: I left you with six adult Tamagotchis in perfect health! And by the time I came home, they were all dead. You have to like actively murder them in order for that to happen!