Roland Quote #203

Quote from Roland in Life Is A Cabaret

Roland: [on the phone] Yeah, uh, dark hair. Answers to the name "Stevie". Um, kind of looks like a vampire. A little skittish when approached. Um, you know, I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but if you have a taser, you may want to use it.

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 ‘Life Is A Cabaret’ Quotes

Quote from David

Patrick: Hey, have you given any more thought to, uh, when you wanna start telling people? I'm kinda scared to do it today, I don't think your mom would want anything upstaging opening night of the show.
David: Yeah, and I think we need that added hiccup, so...
Patrick: So, tomorrow then?
David: Yeah. I mean, I haven't really given it that much thought.
Patrick: Yeah.
David: So one other option. What if, after the show tonight, we corralled a few people back to the motel? You know, we talk about the show for five to ten minutes, then maybe dim the lights, pop some bubbly, put some music on. I could stand up and give a speech. I'd look to you, you don't need to give a speech, but at this point I think Alexis will be getting misty, which will send sort of this intoxicating ripple effect through the room. Most people will be sobbing. And I'll be holding back tears, but the fact that I'm holding them back, I think, will make it all the more powerful. And you can be topping up drinks.
Patrick: Great to know you've barely given this any thought.

Quote from Moira

Moira: You wear her well.
Stevie: Sorry?
Moira: Magdalena. The only other time I've leased one of my girls is the Halloween when David was desperate to be Alanis Morissette.

 Roland Schitt Quotes

Quote from Honeymoon

Roland: My son lives in a barn in the woods, by choice. He could be the next mayor of this town if he wanted it.
Johnny: My son is pansexual.
Roland: Mm-hmm, I've heard of that. I know what that is. That's, uh, that cookware fetish.
Johnny: No.
Roland: Mm-hmm!
Johnny: No, no.
Roland: No, I read about that.
Johnny: No. He loves everyone. Men, women, women who become men, men who become women. I'm his father, and I always wanted his life to be easy. But, you know, just pick one gender, and maybe, maybe everything would've been less confusing.
Roland: Well, you know, Johnny, when it comes to matters of the heart, we can't tell our kids who to love. Who said that?
Johnny: You did.

Quote from The Motel Guest

Johnny: You didn't hear us last night?
Roland: Nope.
Johnny: Banging away?
Roland: Now, whatever you and the missus do after hours, that's your business, not mine.
Johnny: On the walls, Roland, with our fists!
Roland: And if you're into that kind of stuff, that doesn't bother me at all.