Roland Quote #196
Quote from Roland in The Roast
Roland: Hey, Johnny. I heard the news. Boy, we are really going to miss Moira tonight at the annual Mayor's Roast. I was looking forward to getting scorched.
Johnny: Oh yeah, well, she's gonna miss it, too.
Roland: Yeah, I mean, when she starts going off, oh my God, you better have the burn unit on speed dial. I mean, get the fire extinguishers ready, because she is just slinging heat! Which ultimately becomes fire.
Johnny: Yeah, I get it, I get it. She can, she can be funny on occasion.
Schitt's Creek Quotes
‘The Roast’ Quotes
Quote from Johnny
Johnny: Well, things seem to be going downhill fast. Which is what the town must've been thinking when Roland elected himself Mayor. [laughter]
Roland: Okay, I'll give him that.
Johnny: Oh, got a smile out of Ronnie. The last time anyone saw her this happy was at a 3-for-1 sale on cargo pants! [laughter]
Ronnie: Where? Where? [laughter]
Roland: All right, Johnny, starting to make some moves, now.
Johnny: Cargo, I said car-go, which is what a car is supposed to do unless you take it to Bob's Garage! [laughter]
Quote from Ronnie
Johnny: Ah! Top ten things you don't want Roland to be in charge of-
Ronnie: Ten too many, Johnny. You gotta be short and quick, like Roland in the bedroom.
Bob: [laughs] Now, that, that one kills every year.
Johnny: Oh, no, I love that one. Is that one up for grabs?
Ronnie No. You've gotta go for the jugular, Just stay away from spouses, kids, and health, and you'll be fine. Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta get back to work, which, up until now, was the most boring part of my day.
Quote from Alexis
Ted: Yeah, see, this is why I didn't wanna push it on you this morning, okay? Because you mean way more to me than some dumb once-in-a-lifetime job opportunity.
Alexis: Ted, I don't know what to say. I'd totally think about it, but like, my laptop's here...
Ted: Okay, honestly, just don't worry about it.
Alexis: Well, what about long distance? I once maintained a successful, semi-committed text relationship with Josh Hartnett while he was shooting "Pearl Harbour".