Moira Quote #379
Quote from Moira in Stop Saying Lice!
Moira: Well, this might lift your spirits, I just came from council, and they want to name a garden after me.
Johnny: A garden? Oh, that's flattering. Another feather in your cap, huh?
Moira: Oh, I have enough legacies as it is, John. I've got that playhouse theatre in Pasadena, my titular scholarship with Phoenix, David and Alexis.
Johnny: Yeah, but still, a garden is nice. You'd have to think twice about turning that down.
Moira: Oh, I've already turned it down.
Johnny: Oh. Okay. Well, it's just about a month ago I heard from the Lucy Albion Studio Theater in Pasadena.
Moira: I don't know what that is.
Johnny: It used to be called the Moira Rose...
Moira: No, no! Don't say it! They've stripped the playhouse of my name? Who the fuck is Lucy Albion?!
Johnny: A volunteer usher who died last year.
Schitt's Creek Quotes
‘Stop Saying Lice!’ Quotes
Quote from Moira
Johnny: Well, I thought it was a nice gesture.
Moira: Oh no, no. Now I just wonder what else you're keeping from me.
Johnny: Nothing! Well, Alexis has lice.
Moira: What?! Ew! Ewww! I assume you shaved her head! And we have to put a wig on her. But not one of my wigs! These have to be boxed now!
Johnny: Moira, I've got it all taken care of. And I'd think twice about that garden.
Moira: Oh, it's too late, the notion of that garden is as abhorrent to me as our daughter's scalp!
Johnny: And I was worried about you overreacting.
Moira: [screams]
Quote from David
David: Um, am I reading this right?
Alexis: "The Moira's Rose's Garden."
Johnny: Okay, look, I went back and forth on the name a couple of times, and I may have confused the engraver.
David: The Moira's Rose's Garden. So the garden is dedicated to a rose that Moira owns?
Alexis: I don't think that there are enough apostrophes.
Quote from Johnny
David: I don't even see a rose in the garden.
Moira: Because there aren't any roses.
Alexis: Or are we the Roses?
Johnny: Okay, I'm getting roses for the garden. I'm- I'm getting roses.
David: Oh, okay. And what are these numbers for?
Alexis: That's mom's birthday, David.
Moira: Those are the last four digits of your father's credit card.
Johnny: It was a complicated order form, all right? There were a lot of fields to fill in.
David: Um, I hope you got a really good deal on this.
Moira: It's by the letter, so he paid extra for those apostrophe "s's."