Johnny Quote #157

Quote from Johnny in Stop Saying Lice!

David: I don't even see a rose in the garden.
Moira: Because there aren't any roses.
Alexis: Or are we the Roses?
Johnny: Okay, I'm getting roses for the garden. I'm- I'm getting roses.
David: Oh, okay. And what are these numbers for?
Alexis: That's mom's birthday, David.
Moira: Those are the last four digits of your father's credit card.
Johnny: It was a complicated order form, all right? There were a lot of fields to fill in.
David: Um, I hope you got a really good deal on this.
Moira: It's by the letter, so he paid extra for those apostrophe "s's."

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 ‘Stop Saying Lice!’ Quotes

Quote from David

David: Um, am I reading this right?
Alexis: "The Moira's Rose's Garden."
Johnny: Okay, look, I went back and forth on the name a couple of times, and I may have confused the engraver.
David: The Moira's Rose's Garden. So the garden is dedicated to a rose that Moira owns?
Alexis: I don't think that there are enough apostrophes.

Quote from Moira

Johnny: Well, I thought it was a nice gesture.
Moira: Oh no, no. Now I just wonder what else you're keeping from me.
Johnny: Nothing! Well, Alexis has lice.
Moira: What?! Ew! Ewww! I assume you shaved her head! And we have to put a wig on her. But not one of my wigs! These have to be boxed now!
Johnny: Moira, I've got it all taken care of. And I'd think twice about that garden.
Moira: Oh, it's too late, the notion of that garden is as abhorrent to me as our daughter's scalp!
Johnny: And I was worried about you overreacting.
Moira: [screams]

 Johnny Rose Quotes

Quote from Moira vs. Town Council

Johnny: Well, word to the wise, son, don't spend all your money at once.
David: I thought you weren't getting involved.
Johnny: No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm just saying, word to the wise, is all.
David: Okay, what does "word to the wise" even mean?
Johnny: Word to the wise. When you're speaking to somebody wise, you lis- You're cognizant of what they're saying. A wise person telling you... Anyway, just... Just, uh, keep that in mind, and, um, keep up the good work.

Quote from Moira vs. Town Council

Johnny: Hey, look at us, son, a couple of working stiffs back from the salt mines.
David: What?
Johnny: Two men, back from the mines.
David: What mines? What's that mean?
Johnny: It's a figure of speech.
David: Um, I don't get that.
Johnny: The salt mines! Back from when people mined.
David: Uh huh.
Johnny: When miners worked in the, salt industry, they'd come home, after digging salt. I don't know what it means!