David Quote #82
Quote from David in Little Sister
Connor: Okay so you're telling me your girlfriend is on a date with someone else and, instead of doing something about it, you're here talking to me, a kid who practically has no respect for you.
David: Well, first of all, you're a little bitchy. Second of all, she is not my girlfriend. She's someone I'm occasionally having sex with because we're bored and desperate.
Connor: Ah, you're doing a friends with benefits thing with this girl. Have you not seen the 42 films they've made about it? It never works.
David: Okay, well, movies aren't always right, all right? You'll learn that later in life. I happen to be a little bit older than you are, so-
David: Okay. Well, I think we're good here. You're gonna be okay, right? You're stable?
Connor: I have a party later. Can you buy me some beer?
David: Uh, no. Can you buy me some beer?!
More Schitt's Creek Quotes
‘Little Sister’ Quotes
Quote from Alexis
Alexis: So, this is weird. Um, today marks the longest relationship that I've ever voluntarily had with someone.
Alexis: Yeah. The actual longest relationship was, um, a three month affair with a Saudi prince, but for the last two months of that I was trapped in his palace trying to get to an embassy.
Quote from Twyla
Alexis: So what's going on over there?
Twyla: I'm just working on something. Just a little thing for Mutt.
Alexis: Oh! Is it his birthday or something?
Twyla: No. Um, my dad always said, "When in doubt, say it with a song." He was a roadie with Fleetwood Mac and that was the last thing Mick Fleetwood said to him before the band hit him with a restraining order.
David Rose Quotes
Quote from Roadkill
David: Are you hearing anything I'm saying?
Alexis: Yes. Stay off your phone. Wait for the delivery man to drop off whatever. You can trust me.
David: Okay, can I? Because the last time I left you in charge of something...
Alexis: Ugh! This is about those stupid Tamagotchi?
David: Actually it is.
Stevie: Okay guys.
Alexis: You left me with six of them, David. Taking care of that many is like a full-time job!
David: I left you with six adult Tamagotchis in perfect health! And by the time I came home, they were all dead. You have to like actively murder them in order for that to happen!
Quote from Rock On!
David: Look at you, just drowning in other people's phone numbers.
Alexis: Who was that hunk with the teeny-weeny little polo?
Patrick: His name is Ken.
David: Ken! Just when I thought it was impossible to find a thirty-something named Ken!