Ron Swanson Quote #443

Quote from Ron Swanson in Doppelgangers

Ron Swanson: What in the name of all that is holy is that smell?
Eagleton Ron: Yerba matte tea. Sweetened with stevia. It's an all-natural plant extract.
Ron Swanson: Shut your damn mouth.
Eagleton Ron: No need to curse.
Ron Swanson: There most certainly is.

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 ‘Doppelgangers’ Quotes

Quote from Leslie Knope

Ann: First of all, this is Evelyn.
Leslie Knope: Oh, hello.
Ann: She is my Health Department counterpart from Eagleton.
Evelyn: There really wasn't a ton of work for me there. Eagletonians are very healthy.
Leslie Knope: Oh, well, this might be a very interesting challenge for you, because Pawnee has the very first documented case of mega-diabetes. And the only know occurrence of Lou Gehrig's other disease. We've been written about in textbooks.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] This is a historic day. At 12:01 this morning, the city of Eagleton ceased to exist and was re-absorbed back into Pawnee. Things are exactly the way they were back in 1817, except, you know, women and minorities can vote, we have indoor toilets, and we no longer burn widows for learning arithmetic.

 Ron Swanson Quotes

Quote from Gin It Up!

Ron Swanson: That's your will? You need that many pages to say, "Give my stuff to my wife"?
Ben: It's a complicated legal document.
Ron Swanson: It doesn't have to be. I've had the same will since I was eight years old.
Ben: "Upon my death, all of my belongings shall transfer to the man or animal who has killed me." What are these weird symbols?
Ron Swanson: The man who kills me will know.

Quote from Ms. Knope Goes to Washington

Ranger Patrick: Hey, Ron. You're not going to slaughter that pig here, are you?
Ron Swanson: Not to worry. I have a permit.
Ranger Patrick: This just says, "I can do what I want."
Ron Swanson: I am the director of the Parks Department, and this is a park.
Ranger Patrick: It's not a Parks thing. It's against, like, three laws and a dozen health codes.
Ron Swanson: Fine. Barbecue is postponed until I can go pick up some meat from the Food 'n' Stuff. Let's go, Tom. No, pig Tom. [Donna laughs]