Ben Quote #201

Quote from Ben in Animal Control

Dennis Feinstein: I'm gonna cut right to the chase. I don't like charity. I don't get it. Feels to me like I'm giving money away, and getting nothing in return.
Ben: Well, that's not true. You can really help your personal brand if you show that you're a mogul that gives as much as he gets.
Dennis Feinstein: If I give as much as I get, I'm giving $20 million. Ay yi yi. [laughs] That's how much I'm worth, 20...million...dollars. [laughs]
Ben: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. [laughs]
[aside to camera:]
Ben: Ah, he's disgusting, but I want to take his money and give it to needy people, so I'm just gonna keep on smiling. Yay! [forced laugh]

Rate

 ‘Animal Control’ Quotes

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson: I'd like to object again to being brought here against my will.
Ann: Okay, I'm just gonna double-check your form here. Ron! You redacted all the information.
Ron Swanson: I answered some of them.
Ann: For "date of birth," you wrote "springtime."
Ron Swanson: Which is true.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ann: Hey, you look better. I guess actual medicine can be effective. Who'da thunk?
Ron Swanson: Please leave me alone.
Ann: Not until we go over your test results and your blood work. Your blood pressure looks fine. I'm not sure how this is possible, but your cholesterol is 120, which is the lowest I've ever seen.
Ron Swanson: What's "cholesterol"?
Ann: And the only problem I see is that your potassium's low, so just eat a banana once in awhile.
Ron Swanson: No, thank you. I live the way I live, I eat the things I eat, and I'll die the way I'll die.
Ann: That's oddly beautiful... but also stupid. You're not alone in the world anymore, Ron. You're dating a woman who has two kids, so every three days, think about Ivy and Zoe and Diane, and eat a damn banana.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson: Before you begin, a few ground rules. I need you to explain everything you do before you do it, so I can determine whether I will allow you-- [Dr. Harris puts a tongue depressor in Ron's mouth] Oh! Ugh! Balsa wood? You could at least use mahogany.