Leslie Knope Quote #913
Quote from Leslie Knope in Campaign Shake-Up
Leslie Knope: Jennifer Barkley. You two-faced, carpetbagging--
Jennifer Barkley: Hi, Leslie. Good to see you.
Leslie Knope: Hi, nice to see you, too. You are a two-faced, carpet--
Jennifer Barkley: You want anything? Anything? It's on me. Everything in this town is so cheap.
Leslie Knope: I would never accept anything from a two-faced, carpetbagging--
Jennifer Barkley: Leslie.
Leslie Knope: Please. Let me get my insults out. I've been practicing it the whole way over here.
Jennifer Barkley: I sense that you're angry. Tell me why.
Leslie Knope: Because you stole my idea, and yours won't even work. Ramps are more practical, and they're less expensive than lifts. My idea is better.
Jennifer Barkley: Oh, I don't doubt it. The fact is I don't care. Ramps, lifts, your plan, my plan-- I don't actually care about any of this. I'm just trying to win. Look, it's not personal. I like you. But my job is to beat you. So have a seat. I'll get you some of those waffles you love.
Leslie Knope: How do you know that--
Jennifer Barkley: It's my job to know.
Leslie Knope: [whispers] God, you're good.
Jennifer Barkley: I know.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Campaign Shake-Up’ Quotes
Quote from Ron Swanson
Chris: The department is so small because Leslie Knope single-handedly does the work of four people. And she's already scaled back her time. If she wins, she'll be dividing her time between Parks and City Council. I'm going to have to hire a deputy director to pick up the slack.
Ron Swanson: No! Chris, that's unnecessary. The department is doing fine without Leslie.
Chris: Then prove it. Complete one major project.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: Either we complete a government project which is abhorrent to me, or we bring a new person into the department, which repulses me to my core. Reminds me of when my dad made me choose which of my pet calves to slaughter with my own hands for my sixth birthday. I couldn't choose, so I slaughtered both of them. And they were delicious.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Chris: Question for you. In a town of this size, the Parks department traditionally has ten employees. You have only seven. Why is that?
Ron Swanson: I work hard to make sure my department is as small and ineffective as possible.
Quote from Ann
Ron Swanson: Hello, Ann Perkins.
Ann: This is the first time you've said my entire name correctly.
Ron Swanson: Nonsense. We are close friends. I have good news for you. I'm making the water fountain hygiene upgrade our number one priority.
Ann: Oh, great.
[aside to camera:]
Ann: For some reason, when people in Pawnee use the water fountain, they put their mouths completely over the spouts. It's like this weird, disgusting, local quirk. Kiss one water-fountain drinker, you're kissing everyone in Pawnee. Including him.