Host: Okay, folks, just a couple more contestants, and then the judges will decide our next Miss Pawnee, a winner of $600 in gift certificates to Big Archie's Sporting Goods and Emerson Fencing Company.
April: What? We don't get cash? This is for a fence?
Host: Well, it won't cover a whole fence. But it will defray the cost considerably!
April: Oh, my God. I quit. I quit. [walks off stage]
Host: Okay, I guess she really is quitting.
[aside to camera:]
April: No, I didn't win. But at least I didn't make any new friendships.

April: [excited] Hey!
Leslie Knope: [confused] Hey!
April: So, I was just at The Grind and I thought you might want an iced mocha with extra, extra whipped cream.
Leslie Knope: Oh, my. Thank you so much, April. Wow!
April: You're welcome. Oh, by the way, completely unrelated, I just signed up for the Miss Pawnee Beauty Pageant.
Leslie Knope: That's wonderful. You know, that is why I decided to become a judge. So that awesome girls like you, who are not, you know, classically hot, can be rewarded for their intelligence and savvy.
[aside to camera:]
April: Beauty pageants are idiotic. But I found that the winner of the Miss Pawnee pageant gets $600. I can be idiotic for $600.

April: I'm going to do impressions.
Host: Oh, celebrity impressions. That's wild. Wild stuff.
April: Yeah. This is an impression of my sister. [normal voice] Hi, I'm Natalie. I love Ritalin and have low self-esteem. [Charles laughs wildly] Hmm. Thank you. This is an impression of my boss, Leslie Knope. Women should do everything. Check out my four-color pen. Hey, everybody. Listen up while I talk about some really important stuff. Parks, parks, parks, parks, parks, parks, Michelle Obama, parks. Gay penguins, parks, sugar, parks. [Tom laughs]
Leslie Knope: She got me. She got me good. She got...