Tom Quote #264
Tom: [sings] Ba na na na na na na na na na [talks] It's time to know ya... I don't have the instrumental backing track yet, but it's gonna say "boo" right there. [canned applause plays] Hey, everybody! Welcome to Know Ya Boo. I'm your host, Tom Haverford, and with me as always is my CGI puppy co-host, Bobby the boo! Woof, woof, hey, everybody! All right, let's get to it. First question. Fellas, which rock star would your lady bang if she could bang one rock star? Jerry!
Jerry: I believe I have heard Donna talk about Prince a lot.
Tom: What'd your boo say?
[Donna turns over a card saying "Prince"]
Tom: Impressive! All right, Andy, which rock star would your lady get with?
Andy: Um, this is almost too easy... me!
Tom: Let's check in with ya boo!
[April turns over a card reading "Jeff Mangum"]
Andy: Yay!
Tom: Oh! [canned audience groan] Sorry.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Road Trip’ Quotes
Quote from Tom
Tom: Here's the sitch. I developed a dope new game show where I ask couples scandalous questions, and they have to guess what the other one answered. I call this Know Ya Boo.
Jerry: Oh, that sounds like The Newlywed Game.
Tom: Shut up, Jerry! It's not The Newlywed Game okay?
[aside to camera:]
Tom: It is totally The Newlywed Game. But big deal. Everyone steals. My favorite movie is Love Don't Cost a Thing, with Nick Cannon, which is based on Can't Buy Me Love, which is based on Kramer vs. Kramer or something, which I think was Shakespeare. Don't know, don't care.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: Look, little girl, can we postpone this for another day? It's unsettling having you just sit there.
Lauren: But my report's due tomorrow.
Ron Swanson: What's it on?
Lauren: Why government matters.
Ron Swanson: Really?
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: It's never too early to learn that the government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer's teat until they have sore, chapped nipples. I'm gonna need a different metaphor to give this nine-year-old.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: What's your name, ma'am?
Lauren: Lauren Berkus.
Ron Swanson: Lauren, my name is Ron Swanson, and I'm gonna tell you everything you need to know about the miserable, screwed-up world of local government.
Lauren: You have mustard in your moustache.
Ron Swanson: Don't sass me, Berkus. Let's get started. "Life, liberty, and property." That's John Locke.