Ron Swanson Quote #174
Quote from Ron Swanson in Fancy Party
Ron Swanson: You wouldn't have been able to stop it, you know.
Leslie Knope: I could've yelled something or tackled someone.
Ron Swanson: But you didn't, because deep down, you knew it wouldn't have mattered. Those kids are gonna do what they want to do.
Leslie Knope: They may have just ruined their lives on an impulse decision.
Ron Swanson: Leslie, I got married twice. Both times, I was a lot older than those two. And both marriages ended in divorce... And a burning effigy. Who's to say what works? You find somebody you like, and you roll the dice. That's all anybody can do.
Leslie Knope: Wait. Weren't you married three times?
Ron Swanson: Oh, my God, you're right. [chuckles] I get to burn another effigy.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: The key to burning an ex-wife effigy is to dip it in paraffin wax and then toss the flaming bottle of isopropyl alcohol... From a safe distance. Do not stand too close when you light an ex-wife effigy.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Fancy Party’ Quotes
Quote from Donna
Donna: Excuse us. That was the worst thing I've ever seen in my life. Did you grow up in the woods? Are you Nell from the movie Nell?
Ann: I told you I'm rusty.
Donna: All right, come with me.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Leslie Knope: You okay, Ron?
Ron Swanson: Just a little tooth pain. I'm fine. Continue.
Ben: Okay, each department will be getting blue bins...
Ron Swanson: [groans in pain]
Ben: Do you need to go to the dentist, Ron?
Ron Swanson: I don't like dentists. Just a second. [Ron pulls out a pair of pliers]
All: [shouting]
Ben: Oh!
Donna: What the [bleep]?
Jerry: Oh, my God!
Ron Swanson: I'm sorry, everybody. What were we talking about... Recycling?
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: Dentist pulled the tooth out yesterday. But it's always a good idea to demonstrate to your co-workers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain. Plus, it's always fun to see Tom faint.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] I love Andy and April as a couple. I want them to stay together forever. But relationships need planning. You just can't jump into something without thinking. It took me four years to find the right hairdresser, and we still fight all the time!