Craig Quote #2

Quote from Craig in Doppelgangers

Donna: [on the phone] I guess we can make a switch to Bermuda grass. It's only 80 cents more per square foot?
Craig: What? Gimme gimme gimme. [takes phone] You want me to put Bermuda grass in a continental climate that's a six on Beaufort scale? In a park with zero drainage? I want Kentucky bluegrass, I want a 10 percent discount, and I want you to apologize to my best friend Donna! [hands phone back]
Donna: Yeah, hi. Is there - and I'm just guessing here - some kind of medication that you maybe need a lot of and have taken none of or maybe too much of today?
Craig: Oh, I have a medical condition all right. It's called caring too much! And it's incurable! Also I have eczema.


 ‘Doppelgangers’ Quotes

Quote from Leslie Knope

Ann: First of all, this is Evelyn.
Leslie Knope: Oh, hello.
Ann: She is my Health Department counterpart from Eagleton.
Evelyn: There really wasn't a ton of work for me there. Eagletonians are very healthy.
Leslie Knope: Oh, well, this might be a very interesting challenge for you, because Pawnee has the very first documented case of mega-diabetes. And the only know occurrence of Lou Gehrig's other disease. We've been written about in textbooks.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] This is a historic day. At 12:01 this morning, the city of Eagleton ceased to exist and was re-absorbed back into Pawnee. Things are exactly the way they were back in 1817, except, you know, women and minorities can vote, we have indoor toilets, and we no longer burn widows for learning arithmetic.

 Craig Middlebrooks Quotes

Quote from Moving Up (Part 2)

Tom: Guys, this is the most important night of my life, which means it's the most important night of your lives too.
Craig: Speak for yourself. I once got into a cab that Kyra Sedgwick was getting out of.
Jean-Ralphio: No way, The Closer? Oof!

Quote from Flu Season 2

Craig: Well, good night, everyone. I'm going to go home and feel totally fine. Who am I kidding? I'm going to go home, put on a Macy Gray album, and cry in the mirror!
Donna: Why are you bummed?
Craig: Are you all blind? I want that job at Tom's Bistro.
Tom: Look, man, you know your stuff, but you're like a crazy volcano. You'd have to show me you can bring it down a notch.
Craig: I'll bring it down 1,000 notches if I have to!