Andy Quote #153
Quote from Andy in Media Blitz
Andy: Oh, hey, crazy. What was that meeting about?
April: Oh, it turns out Chris is my real dad.
Andy: I think you're lying. I think I know what that meeting was about. You can't go to Indianapolis. There's got to be something that I can do to convince you how much I care about you. [gasps] Tell me your least favorite things you have to do every day, and I'll do them for a month.
April: Fine. If you do everything I hate for a month, then I might begin to think about the possibility of thinking about maybe staying.
Andy: That's all I have to hear. You won't live to regret this.
[aside to camera:]
April: Unless Andy can un-kiss Ann, then I'm not gonna change my mind. But if he wants to take my dumb sister to her dumb dance class, then I'm not gonna dumb stop him.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Media Blitz’ Quotes
Quote from Ron Swanson
April: Okay, somebody's got to do something. I'm getting a cluster headache.
Jerry: Oh, whoa, whoa, he's leaving.
Tom: Let's go. I'm gonna throw it away. No, I'm not. It weighs a billion tons.
Jerry: What is he typing anyway?
Donna: "If you sons of bitches try to remove this typewriter, I'll kill you."
[Everyone scatters as Ron returns:]
Ron Swanson: I'm gonna type every word I know. Rectangle! America! Megaphone! Monday! Butthole.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] I found this typewriter next to the courtyard dumpster. An old Underwood Five with original carriage return. [typewriter dings] Ah. I took her home, polished her up, and bought a brand-new ribbon off of electronicBay.com.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Ben: Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but these interviews are more important than we thought. Harvest Fest is two weeks away, and awareness is still pretty low.
Leslie Knope: Boy, 35%.
Ben: It's actually 34.2%.
Leslie Knope: [robotic voice] 34.2%. I am Ben, the numbers robot.
Ben: It's just an exact, uh, calculation.
Leslie Knope: [robotic voice] It is just an exact calculation.