Donna: Uh-oh. Do I sense trouble in the Haverford-Perkins household?
Tom: No such luck, Donna. Ann and Tom, aka Haverkins, are stronger than ever.
[aside to camera:]
Tom: Everyone said it wouldn't last.
Ann: And it didn't. Shocking that our drunken plan to move in together wasn't a success. After the first day, we realized we had made a huge mistake.
Tom: Huge.
Ann: However, everyone was being so smug about it, saying there's no way it would last, so we're pretending to still be together. That way, no one gets the satisfaction of being right, even though they are, but still.
Tom: More importantly, I bet Donna $1,000 that we'd be together for another month. I can't stress this enough. If she finds out that we broke up, I'll go bankrupt.