Chris: How long were you two lovers?
Tom: Excuse me?
Leslie Knope: Oh, God.
Chris: Last march, I witnessed Leslie Knope and Tom Haverford engaged in a passionate yet tender kiss. It seems that Ms. Knope has a pattern of becoming involved with her co-workers.
Leslie Knope: Tom, will you please tell the committee why we were kissing?
Tom: An online dating site randomly paired us up. So, as a joke, I thought it would be funny to pretend you and I were dating. And then you kissed me as a joke... To shut me up.
Leslie Knope: But we never had any other romantic contact after that.
Tom: No, that would be like dating my older sister's elderly aunt.
Leslie Knope: No, it wouldn't.