Leslie Knope: We asked Johnny to come on your show and speak to the children of Pawnee.
Andy: Chuuh. That's right, children. Listen, I know things are weird now. You're at home. You... miss school. Ha! How strange is that? You actually miss school. Your parents are home as well, and they're trying to teach you and it turns out they can't teach you jack because they are so dumb. Well, kids, Johnny Karate wants you to know you must stay strong and be nice to your parents. Also... chh, chh... these... wash them. Wash your hands. And I know what you're thinkin'. I'm a 38-year-old man, and I've literally never once washed my hands in my entire life.
Leslie Knope: Andy, have you never washed your hands before?
Andy: Point is, if we pull together, you and I can karate... chop... this... virus! Whhhh!
[title: "Note: the virus cannot be karata-chopped"]
Andy: Things will go back to normal. They just have to, and... it might not be today. It might not be tomorrow. It might not be next week. Might not be a year or a hundred years or a thousand years. It might never happen.
Ben: Dude.
Andy: But it will eventually. Boys, girls, this is Johnny Karate signing out. Chhha! Waai-chi-iii! [groans] Ohh... Oh, when I did the kick, I pulled something kinda...
Leslie Knope: Johnny, we can still see you.
Andy: Oh, right in my butthole.