Tom: What up, playa? Just wanted to apologize for my intro running long. But, uh, you know. When it comes to inspirational Will Smith quotes, how are you gonna stop at ten?
Ben: You know, when the Chamber of Commerce asked you to introduce me, I was a little worried you would spend the entire time talking about yourself, which is exactly what you did.
Tom: I'm sorry. Truth is, they didn't ask me to introduce you. I asked them if I could do it. I was gonna talk about how I owe you so much. How you stood by me through all my failures and I stood by you through all your terrible outfits. But when I got up there, I got pretty emotional. To make it up to you, I'd like to read you the speech now. I've known a lot of ballers in my day. But no man balls harder than the man I'm about to bring up. He's kind, he's intelligent. [sobs] He's a person I'm deeply proud to call my friend.
[aside to camera:]
Ben: Pretty good speech. I mean, it was, um... a little sappy, maybe. [sobs] I think I liked it.
Tom: [sobbing]