Ron Swanson: Speaking of bad reviews...
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: Computers are mostly pointless, but that Yelp thing gave me a great idea on how to criticize people and places. [writing on typewriter] I am composing strongly-worded letters about things I disapprove of, and I am using the internet to get addresses where I can send them. So far I've written to a vegetable farm, several European ambassadors, a manufacturer of male cologne, and a nonfat frozen yogurt bar. "Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing. Zero stars."