Tom: They were duds, Ron. Really, anything would be better than the people we interviewed today.
Ron Swanson: I guess you're right, Tom. I'm not gonna find another you. You were perfect. Competent enough to keep the bosses off my back, but selfish enough to slow down all the work. Tom Haverfords don't grow on trees.
Tom: If they did, I'd sell 'em. Tommy trees.
Ron Swanson: Would you consider coming back?
Tom: Sorry, Ron. No can do. I'm like a shark. I don't swim backwards. See ya later, man.