Chris: You ever tried a turkey burger?
Ron Swanson: Is that a fried turkey leg inside a grilled hamburger? If so, yes. Delicious.
Chris: A turkey burger. You take lean ground turkey meat, and you make that into a burger, instead of red meat.
Ron Swanson: Why would anyone do that to themselves?
Chris: What if I told you that I could make a turkey burger that tastes better than any other burger you've ever had?
Ron Swanson: Challenge accepted. Cook-off later today in the courtyard. If I win, hamburgers remain in the commissary.
Chris: What do I get if I win?
Ron Swanson: The rarest jewel of all. Victory over me, Ron Swanson.