Tom: Ladies and gentlemen, this is your final warning. Do not miss tonight. April Ludgate Birthday Bash. 9 o'clock at the world-famous Snakehole Lounge. The place the Pawnee General has called the sexiest, most dangerous club in town.
Leslie Knope: That's not what they wrote.
Tom: Fine. I added the word "sexiest," but we've hired better security.
[aside to camera:]
Tom: Yes, I am a good friend for throwing the party. I'm also a genius because I'm using the occasion to stock the club with every available hottie I know. Call me a romantic, but I believe by the end of the night, I will have between one and four new girlfriends.