Tom Quote #172
Quote from Tom in The Master Plan
Tom: Ladies and gentlemen, this is your final warning. Do not miss tonight. April Ludgate Birthday Bash. 9 o'clock at the world-famous Snakehole Lounge. The place the Pawnee General has called the sexiest, most dangerous club in town.
Leslie Knope: That's not what they wrote.
Tom: Fine. I added the word "sexiest," but we've hired better security.
[aside to camera:]
Tom: Yes, I am a good friend for throwing the party. I'm also a genius because I'm using the occasion to stock the club with every available hottie I know. Call me a romantic, but I believe by the end of the night, I will have between one and four new girlfriends.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘The Master Plan’ Quotes
Quote from Chris
Chris: Leslie, Leslie. Welcome, welcome, welcome.
Leslie Knope: Wow. You have a lot of bottles there.
Chris: Oh, yeah. Would you like a vitamin? B-12? Evening primrose oil? Willow bark? Magnesium?
Leslie Knope: No, thank you.
Chris: You sure? Really good for hangovers.
Leslie Knope: Okay, I'll take one.
[aside to camera:]
Chris: I take care of my body above all else. Diet, exercise, supplements, and positive thinking. Scientists believe that the first human being who will live 150 years has already been born. I believe I am that human being.
Quote from Ben
Leslie Knope: I'm sorry that I yelled at you. All three times. But I don't think you know anything about my department. Have you ever been part of a government body before?
Ben: I have, yeah. Small town called Partridge, Minnesota.
Leslie Knope: Why does that sound familiar? You're Benji Wyatt?
Ben: I am.
[aside to camera:]
Ben: When I was 18, I ran for mayor of my small town. And won. A little bit of anti-establishment voter rebellion, I guess. Here's the thing, though, about 18 year-olds. They're idiots. So I pretty much ran the place into the ground after two months and got impeached. The worst part was, my parents grounded me.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] Once a year, every branch of this government meets in a room and announces, what they intend to waste taxpayer money on. For a libertarian such as myself, it's philosophically horrifying. They also really cheap out on the snacks. Hydrax cookies? Did you know there was an off-brand hydrox? I did not. They're not bad.