Nick Quote #890

Quote from Nick in Jury Duty

Schmidt: Cece, you're the love of my life, but I-I kindly ask that you don't read ahead.
Cece: Okay, fine. I'll use a shower caddy, okay? And now that I've agreed to my thing, can we just agree that Nick can limit his stories?
Nick: You trying to take away my constitutional right to be hilarious?
Cece: Fine. I won't use a shower caddy.
Nick: Use the caddy, I'll be less chatty. [chucjles] It's hilarious. It's undeniably hilarious that I just said that.
Cece: Do you hear yourself?

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 ‘Jury Duty’ Quotes

Quote from Cece

Jess: [on the phone] Guys, I need to go in right now. What do I do?
Nick: Whatever the trial's about, I say I don't believe in it.
Cece: Just tell them that your parents are Pakistani militants. That's what I do; works every time. Yeah.
Nick: Why'd you have an accent when you said "Pakistani"?
Cece: Because that's actually how you pronounce it.
Nick: "Pakazani"?

Quote from Nick

Schmidt: So why don't we just sit down and... and talk this out like adults?
Nick: I would love to, Schmidty, but where will we sit?
Cece: Okay.
Nick: Oh, perhaps we'll sit on this pile of uneaten carrots. It's like I'm living with Secretariat, the horse! [laughs]
Schmidt: He's hilarious.
Nick: On the plus side, I'm being very witty during this fight!

Quote from Nick

Schmidt: First clause: "If a roommate has five or more grooming products in the bathroom, they must use a shower caddy or pay an additional ten dollars in rent, adjusted every two years for inflation." I currently pay an additional $11.97 in rent.
Cece: Okay, yeah, well, I'm not using a shower caddy, because I'm an adult woman and I don't live in a dorm.
Nick: Have you been to a dorm recently? It's like a spa. Those horny texters live like kings.
Winston: Nick is really damaging this negotiation.