Nick Quote #516
Jess: Oh, my God. You've been cat fishing Schmidt. Do you think we could use this whole Michael Keaton thing to turn Schmidt around?
Nick: Absolutely.
Jess: Great!
Nick: But I won't do it.
Winston: Why not?
Nick: Because I put it to bed, okay? It's over. He'll do anything Keaton says. The letters are too powerful. I'm lying to my best friend. And I also feel like I'm betraying the real Keaton, who I really love.
Jess: Well, then why did you tell me that whole story, Nick?
Nick: Because it's a great story, and I'm a teller of stories. But I won't do it. Sorry.
Winston: You think you tell that story better than me? Look, you leave out way too many details, man. You don't just say he was chewing a candy bar. You say he was chewing on a nougat-y candy bar.
Nick: [o.s.] That's not the kind of writer I am. I don't say words like "nougat-y." I'm simple. I'm like Hemingway.
New Girl Quotes
‘Keaton’ Quotes
Quote from Winston
Nick: Keaton hasn't written Schmidt in three years. We have no idea how Schmidt is gonna react. If Schmidt finds out Keaton isn't real, it'll destroy the entire life he has built around him. We are talking about a Truman Show situation.
Winston: Oh, yeah, I love that movie. What part are you talking about?
Nick: Well, I'm talking about the part in the movie when Truman realizes that his whole life is a lie, and then he goes crazy.
Winston: Yeah, yeah, yeah, right there in the middle of the movie.
Jess: No, it's the whole movie.
Winston: Oh, yeah, I know, I was just 'cause there's the one... There's like a scene.
Jess: You haven't seen it.
Nick: He didn't see the movie.
Quote from Jess
Jess: So let's fire up the Batman Mobile, go to a taco stand and eat some feelings, okay?
Cece: Okay, I just... I think it's Batmobile.
Jess: Batman Mobile.
Cece: No. Batmobile.
Jess: That's what I said Batman Mobile.
Cece: You're putting the man. There's no man. It's just Bat-
Jess: Batman Mobile.
Cece: Mobile.
Jess: Batman Mobile.
Cece: Batmobile. Drop the man.
Jess: Batman Mobile.
Cece: Batmobile.
Jess: Batmo-mobile.
Quote from Nick
Nick: I haven't been inside Keaton's mind in a long time, and I need my proper inspiration. [to Winston] Thank you.
Jess: Why do you have a picture of a bear?
Nick: The great Michael Keaton attacks each new role with the ferocity of a hungry brown bear. It is his entire acting philosophy, which I totally made up.
Jess: I sleep with this person.
Nick: Speak to me, Keaton. [drinks] Mmm. Here we go. [electronic whoosh]
Jess: Oh, hey, Nick, that's incredible. "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it"?
Nick: Yes, I stole that from Nelson Mandela. I added the part about the Penguin and the Riddler.