Schmidt Quote #33
Schmidt: What if Nick gets into an accident? What if he's horribly disfigured, and I have to identify him, and all that remains are his private parts? And I'm standing there and I'm saying, "Sorry, Officer, I can't help you, because no, I haven't seen his penis." And then boom, he's buried in an unmarked grave.
Winston: Again, why do you want to see it?
Schmidt: What did it look like?
Jess: What do you mean?
Schmidt: [holding hands apart] Just say when. Just sa... serious... Seriously? Are you s.. Are you serious? Okay, you know what. This is impossible. I'm starting over.
New Girl Quotes
‘Naked’ Quotes
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: Hey, look. You've been out of the game for a while. I have three date packages. They work every time. Package A) Close-up magic, dinner, drinks. Package B) Close-up magic, drinks. Package C) Close-up magic.
Quote from Winston
Schmidt: How'd the job interview go?
Winston: You know, terrible.
[flashback:]
Interviewer: Did you see the JWoww retweet and Gaga Twitpic?
Winston: I know Word, and I can open a document... Save it, save as, print, print preview...
[present:]
Winston: She just wanted to chitchat about stuff I've never even heard of.
Quote from Winston
Winston: I've spent the last two years of my life in Latvia. I was playing ball year round. I didn't read the news. I have no idea what happened in America. I've got interviews tomorrow. Fill me in. What'd I miss?
Schmidt: From... from the past two years?
Winston: Give me the highlights. Highlights.
Schmidt: Okay. Uh, country's broke. Betty White's back.
Winston: Oh, cool, cool. What about the rest of the Golden Girls?
Schmidt: All dead, man.
Winston: Damn.