Jess Quote #778
Quote from Jess in Girl Fight
Schmidt: Jess, it's a purse. Who cares? Just apologize.
Jess: Cece and I have been friends for 20 years. Do you know why? Because we're passive-aggressive people. We never confront anything. That's the way it works with us. It always has.
[flashback to Jess and Cece running into each other in the school hallway:]
Young Jess: Hi.
Young Cece: Hi. [Jess walks away]
[present:]
Jess: And that was one of the worst fights we've ever had. And if I bring up the purse, then everything else
comes up with it. Too many things have happened. Women have amazing memories. Because we used to be
the gatherers, and so we had to remember where all the best berries were hidden. And Cece and I, we've hidden berries all across the Great Plains.
Coach: Colorado, Kansas, Montana, Nebraska-- need I say more?
Jess: Coach gets it. See, Cece and I, we're gonna be fine, 'cause it's gonna play out the way it always does. We're not gonna talk for three days, and then I'll surprise her with a latte. And then we'll act like nothing happened.
New Girl Quotes
‘Girl Fight’ Quotes
Quote from Jess
Jess: Cece just texted me a smiley face.
Schmidt: Is that bad?
Jess: No, she just texted me the world's first good smiley face. I'm gonna text her [chuckles] a yellow heart. No, uh, yellow heart, whale, thumbs up.
Schmidt: Well, that seems nice.
Jess: [gasps] How dare she? Chinese man, ballerina, apartment building?
Schmidt: What does that mean?
Jess: Fine! Poop. Turban guy. Granny.
Schmidt: Don't text her poop.
Jess: [gasps] Explosion, monkey-see? You want to play dirty? Fine. Slice of cake. Turtle.
Schmidt: Don't sen...
Jess: Oh. [gasps] Double syringe? Double syringe. You're right, Schmidt. Maybe it's time to dig up some berries. The gatherers have become the hunters. Be well.
Schmidt: Wh-Where are you... Where are going? L-Leave those berries be.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: Well, congratulations on having sisters, but I know women. You blindfold me, spin me around and drop me into a rainstorm, and I'll still find the G-spot.
Coach: Schmidt...
Schmidt: Let us not forget that I had boobs for the first 19 years of my life. I grew up as a fat, asexual friend-zoner. You can't buy that kind of access.
Quote from Jess
Cece: What the hell just happened?
Coach: Fight.
Schmidt: Yeah. Now it's over. I barely even remember it.
Jess: I cannot believe you guys handle things that way. I'm starting to think that neither one of you read the Madeleine Albright biography I gave you for Christmas.