Schmidt Quote #784
Quote from Schmidt in Julie Berkman's Older Sister
Schmidt: Do you really think that she's gonna have sex with you in that pulp-covered filth bunker?
Nick: I'll throw a tarp down.
Gina: Oh, God.
Schmidt: What if she's turned off by the mess? What if she's turned off by... What if she's turned off by the mess? Hey, Gina, why don't you hear me out here for a second.
Gina: That's all right.
Schmidt: If Nick cleans his room before Brittany comes over, he might get laid.
Nick: I don't know. It seems like a lot of work.
Schmidt: Not with the right tool. [hands him a sponge] We open up on a modern man with a nose that only America could love.
Nick: This might seem obvious, but what side does the dirty stuff go on?
Schmidt: He doesn't know a lot, but he's about to discover the ultimate wingman.
Nick: I bet this side is really good for tough areas.
Schmidt: The Man Sponge. Because the dirtiest thing in your room...
Nick: Probably be her. Yay. We're doing a pitch.
Schmidt: Yeah.
New Girl Quotes
‘Julie Berkman's Older Sister’ Quotes
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: No, I'm not happy. I'm poor, and I'm living in a filthy thimble. I've gone from riches to rags. It's reverse Annie.
Nick: Oh, spoiler alert. Now you just ruined Annie.
Quote from Schmidt
Nick: Don't worry, don't worry. I got it. I got it. I'll just clean it.
Coach: Dude, there's a sponge in your hand.
Schmidt: No, let him go. He's my inspiration. You know, living with him in that slovenly hellhole has been a secret blessing. It's made me stronger. Without ash to rise from, the phoenix would just be a bird getting up. I am a phoenix, and I will rise.
Cece: He usually says that speech before sex.
Schmidt: By 2015, I will have my own room. And by 2016... [looks off into the distance]
Coach: What is he looking at?
Nick: I don't know.
Schmidt: ...I will be a millionaire.
Quote from Nick
Nick: Give him the account. He's a hard worker, and he's a neat freak. How do I know that? 'Cause I share a room with him.
Gina: You two share a room?
Nick: And you should see his side. It is so clean. It looks like the inside of a Japanese subway. Speaking of sharing a bedroom, Brittany's coming over tonight. Uh, so I'm gonna need ten to 15 minutes of privacy for... I don't need 15 minutes. That's excessive. Give me five to ten. That feels braggy. Give me three to five, but no less than three 'cause that's rude to girls.