Jess Quote #269
Sam: Hey.
Jess: Sam, hi.
Sam: Katie?
Jess: Not Katie.
Sam: Yeah, uh, I'm sorry to come over here unannounced. I didn't... I just wanted to tell you that I don't... I don't care that you lied to me. I lied, too. Half my profile is a lie. I am not a shy food blogger who wants a destination wedding in Scotland, okay? I don't open up the more you get to know me. I mean, I, you know, Internet date so I don't have to sleep with people I work with. I do like Creed, though.
Jess: I hate Creed.
Sam: I don't care what you like or what your name is, or... anything about you. And the good news is you don't have to care about me either. And we can still tear each other apart. What do you think?
Jess: You know what? I'm gonna say yes, I think. Yeah, let's do this. Um... Do we start now or later or now?
New Girl Quotes
‘Katie’ Quotes
Quote from Schmidt
Nick: Let's just say, hypothetically, we live in a world where time travel exists, okay? So if that is the case...
Schmidt: One, Marie Antoinette. Two, Cleopatra. Three, young Ann-Margret. Four, old Ann-Margret.
Nick: Would you shut up, you clown?! I'm being serious! I'm talking about real time travel here, Schmidty.
Schmidt: And I made an astute observation off of that.
Quote from Jess
Jess: Okay, look, I had the best sex of my life last night. He brewed me like a fine chamomile.
Nick: Oh, so that was you. I thought that was a couple bums fighting.
Jess: It wasn't.. It was me having sex. I left my body, went up to heaven, saw my grandparents, thought it was weird that I saw my grandparents, came back down, I became a werewolf, I scared some teenagers. I came back into my body. Only thing is, he thinks my name is Katie. And that I'm a dancer and/or something involving puppets.
Quote from Schmidt
Nick: I might have met future me.
Schmidt: Who knows about this?
Nick: Nobody. You're the first person I've told, obviously.
Schmidt: Whoa.
Nick: If I find out how you die, do you want me to tell you?
Schmidt: Don't worry. I already know. It's one of these moles. See this little S.O.B. right there?
Nick: That's the guy?
Schmidt: I've been eyeing him for a while. That's one's gonna turn green one day, and then [snaps fingers] there you go. Schmidt's dead.