Schmidt Quote #221
Quote from Schmidt in Backslide
Jess: I'm gonna end up alone. I'm gonna be a single old lady flashing people on the subway.
Schmidt: Jess, first of all, you're never gonna be old, because humans ... we're gonna be immortal by 2026. And second of all, give me your phone.
Jess: Why?
Schmidt: Do you want to drunkenly call Russell tonight and tell him what a huge mistake you made?
Winston: You don't want to backslide, trust me.
Schmidt: Be quiet. Your life is too perfect to talk to anyone in Jess's condition right now. Look, Jess, backsliding is what happens after a clean break. When you, when you freak out and you go crawling back and you just make everything messy and horrible.
Jess: I'm not gonna do that.
Schmidt: You have backslider written all over you.
New Girl Quotes
‘Backslide’ Quotes
Quote from Schmidt
Winston: So you and Cece are staying away from each other.
Schmidt: Only until my penis stops looking like a knotted wizard's staff.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: Hey, Jess. I brought you some tea. Just gonna leave it right here, okay? There you go. So, Russell... Ouch. Right? I mean, who saw that coming? Not me. Certainly not Russell. I guess, I guess you saw it coming. I mean, 'cause you're the one who broke up with him.
Jess: Leave, Schmidt.
Schmidt: All right, fine. I'll leave. But you know what? Know this: you're not the only one that's hurting here, Jessica Day. The economy stinks, bees are dying, movies are pretty much all sequels now, and I...
Jess: Don't say "broken penis."
Schmidt: ...have a broken penis. Don't pretend to know my pain.
Quote from Schmidt
Schmidt: [moaning] It hurts so bad, because...
Cece: What's turning you on?
Schmidt: Oh...
Cece: The queen of diamonds? The bow?
Schmidt: Oh, my God.
Cece: The teeth in the glass?
Schmidt: I care about you so much.
Cece: The leaf painting?
Schmidt: But...
Cece: Is emotional intimacy turning you on?
Schmidt: [groans]
Cece: Are you in that much pain? Uh, he passed out. We need help!