Schmidt: Cece, this is the hardest thing that I've ever had to say to you. I had always assumed that when you got serious about interior design, I was going to love your ideas. Because I love you. I hate your ideas. I hate them almost as much as I love you, which is so much.
Cece: I have to stop you right there. I appreciate the fact that you are a very dramatic man, but the next time you start a conversation with, "This is the hardest thing that I have ever had to say to you," it better end with, "I'm gay now," "I found a lump in my nut," or, "He came out of nowhere, help me get the blood off of my car."
Schmidt: I can't live in a house that you don't love. And I also can't live in a house of horrors!
Cece: Thank you for taking my note about being dramatic.

Schmidt: It's only one room, one flaw. Every beautiful thing has one flaw. Marilyn Monroe has her beauty mark. "Thriller" has its Vincent Price poem.
Cece: Babe. Do you like this ceiling fan?
Schmidt: Wicker... wicker blades!
Cece: They are made from reclaimed hampers.
Schmidt: It's like a dirty laundry propeller above our bed.
Cece: [laughing]: Yes.
Schmidt: Okay!
Cece: [sighs] I love that we're on the same page. [exits]
Schmidt: That's right. Two flaws. Okay. Two flaws. No beautiful thing has two flaws, only ugly things. It's spreading.

Winston: Hey, Jess.
Jess: Did Schmidt tell you I was gonna be in here?
Winston: No.
Jess: Then how come you didn't get scared?
Winston: Before I enter any bathroom, I take a moment to myself and say, "No matter what happens in there, don't get scared." And it works, you know, except for that one time when I was at the Cubs...