Nick: I can't pick up Cece's mom from the airport! It's too much pressure. You said I only had to do the easy best man stuff.
Schmidt: You're picking someone up from the airport in a car. Not outer space in a canoe. It is easy, Nick.
Nick: Then why don't you do it?
Schmidt: I can't pick her up. Tonight is one of the most important nights of my hair's life, and I need a shampoo. Not a cut. They'll try and cut it, but I won't let them. Getting a day-of cut would be insane. Unless, of course, Julian's working. [Nick sighs] Julian won't be working though. You keep fireworks in your car? What are you, a little Chinese boy?