Jess: Congrats, chaperones! With your help, tonight is going to be unforgettable.
Biology Teacher: I didn't sign up for this.
Jess: No, you didn't. None of you did. In fact, none of you have ever, ever signed up for any school event, ever. Which means you've never felt the joy of exchanging your free time for a child's smile.
Rose: I never volunteer because of my Munchausen syndrome.
Biology Teacher: Are we getting paid?
Jess: You will get paid, um, actually, in attractive hats that I made. They say "chaperone." And Gary the Janitor has one that says "Clean-up Crew."
Gary: You call me Gary the Janitor as if me being a janitor is my whole identity. It's like someone calling you Jess the Third-Hottest White Teacher.
Jess: Okay.
Biology Teacher: Are we done? I'm gonna say we're done.