Schmidt: Nevertheless, we are gathered here today to celebrate the reemployment of Jessica F. Day.
Jess: Not my middle initial.
Schmidt: Who will once again be in the classroom, molding the minds of children.
Jess: Actually, I'm gonna be remolding the minds of grown-ups, 'cause I'm gonna be teaching creative writing to adults.
Schmidt: So, what, are you gonna be, like, reading a bunch of weirdos' writing?
Nick: Well, I hope you like stories about vampires and bad childhoods.
Jess: I do.
Nick: You're gonna get them.