Jess: Whoa. Makes me want to sit by the fire, and talk about how annoying Gandhi is.
Nick: Whoa, something's happening to me, Jess. I want to sit at that desk and veto a law.
Jess: What are you doing, Nick?
Nick: That's someone else's stuff.
Nick: Jess, when I put my hand on this desk, I feel sexually proficient for the first time in my life.
Jess: Nick, this man stands for everything you hate.
Nick: [picks up phone] I'm President Miller! You're all fired! Bring our boys home.
Jess: Okay, this is how evil geniuses are born.
Nick: You smell that? It smells like leather and Teddy Roosevelt and wistfulness. I want to wear this cap.
Jess: You're not helping me! Nick, I know this room is beautiful, gentlemanly, and... smells like Christmas, but you have to stay strong. I'm gonna go find Russell. Keep... playing with that duck.
Nick: [to the duck] I want to kill you. Because I respect you. I think I understand hunting!