Jess: Dad. Thanks for waiting.
Bob Day: I wasn't waiting. I just can't get this damn thing started.
Jess: You're just pressing buttons.
Bob Day: This was supposed to be a big weekend for me and Ashley. I had everything planned. I... I even wrote new lyrics to our... our song. [sings] Ashley, marry me... [Jess starts the car] Y... you didn't have to do that, you know. I can take care of myself.
Jess: Can you? Dad, if I hadn't protected you after you and Mom's divorce, you would've ended up with Nancy Zimmerman.
Bob Day: Oh, Nancy Zimmerman.
Jess: She was bad news, Dad.
Bob Day: Ooh, v... very bad. You don't know the half of it. That woman made me try cocaine in 2005.
Jess: What, Dad?! Booger sugar?
Bob Day: Yes. Nicaraguan yazz.
Jess: Are you kidding me?
Bob Day: It was a very expensive evening. I wound up buying his and her Jet Skis.