Jess: [answers phone] Hey, I thought you were de-webbing.
Sam: Well, it took less time than I thought. Yeah, he only wanted his big toe free, so he could wear flip-flops. How's the new car?
Jess: Ugh! Don't make a thing out of it, but I had to ask Nick to be Jeff Day.
Sam: You asked Nick for help, not me?
Jess: Well, you were in surgery, and he was the only person I could find, but he's screwing it up so much that I really wish I'd "Reverse-Tootsie'd."
Sam: Of course he's screwing up. He's a little human porkchop. I'm on my way.
Jess: Wait, don't come. Don't come.
Sam: I could be Jeff Day. I just need to find a fake mustache.
Jess: What is it with you guys and mustaches?