Big Schmidt: Love each and every one of you sons of bitches. Now, who are you? I'm Groomsman Number Two. [chuckles] Big Schmidt, Schmidt's cousin.
Robby: I'm Robby, Groomsman Number Four. I am the ex-boyfriend of the bride, and a weirdly close friend of the groom.
J. Cronkite Valley-Forge: I'm Number Five, J. Cronkite Valley-Forge. CFO of Associated Strategies, LLC. I'm 62 years of age, was recently widowed, and I believe earnestly that if we can all work together this wedding season, we will get more boom-boom than a TNT factory. [men laughing] Thank you for your time. Thank you for your time.
Winston: I have a brief statement from G3, who could not make it here tonight. It says, "Dear Jess, I can't fly in for every damn party. I will see you at... [imitates Coach] the wedding." If you know Coach, that's exactly how he... "Wedding." And then he always goes, "Coach." [laughs]