Nick: [in the mirror] Oh, tidings, Abigail. I'm Jess's beau. My name is Nicholas. It's a pleasure to-
Schmidt: Oh, good God. Is that a common barber's comb?
Nick: Look, Schmidt, I just want to make a good impression on Jess's sister.
Schmidt: Yeah, well, I want Julia Child not to be dead, but here we find ourselves.