Schmidt: [v.o.] Obviously I was far too fat to work in marketing. So I got a job any dumb slob could do.
[flashback to Nick lounging about as Schmidt carries two newly-cut Christmas trees:]
Nick: Relax, man, it's your first day.
Schmidt: [v.o.] For a Jewish giant, I had a surprising knack for selling Christmas trees. Not only did my wide center of gravity make me freakishly strong, but I could also sell like the wind. Because I understood one fundamental truth. When you're buying Christmas trees you're really buying sex.