Schmidt: Nothing? I mean, nothing? Damn it! I've been trying to get something going with myself for a full hour. It's like a taffy pull on a hot summer's day.
Jess: Eww! You have the door open, Schmidt.
Schmidt: I'm over myself ... I just don't do it for me anymore. I even bought myself a sexy pair of underpants to spice things up ... didn't happen. I just laid there. You know what? That's it. Tonight, I start having sex again. Now, are you two gonna join me?