Schmidt: Ooh, ay-ay-ay. I am cons-to-the-pizzo.
Nick: Hmm?
Schmidt: Constipated. I'm constipated.
Nick: Surprising. Here, sit down, relax, watch some TV.
Schmidt: What's the chair doing over here?
Nick: Just moved it.
Schmidt: Oh... gosh.
Nick: Turn it down, man! Turn it down! Turn it...
Schmidt: What?
Nick: It's too loud! Schmidt, you're blasting the TV, you maniac!
Schmidt: You can hear that?
Nick: It's blasting, Schmidt! Jess is trying to sleep!