Adrian Monk Quote #1561
Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Is On the Air
Adrian Monk: You know, Max. You look like you're out of shape. When you go to a restaurant, you don't use a fork. You use a harpoon. [silence]
Max Hudson: Uh, what?
Adrian Monk: You heard me. When you took your dog to the dog show, you won first prize, not your dog. [crickets sound effect]
Max Hudson: Yeah, that's, uh that's not funny.
Adrian Monk: Yes, it is.
Max Hudson: No. No, it's not.
Adrian Monk: Yes, it is. You know who you remind me of? The hippie who came home and gave his dog fleas.
Little Willie Karelli: "Hippie?" What year is this?
Adrian Monk: Actually, you remind me of several different hippies. Like the hippie who moved into a new apartment and it was six months before he realized there was no hot water. [Max groans] I'm sorry, but you had that coming.
Max Hudson: Yeah, um, Adrian, are you telling jokes, buddy?
Monk Quotes
‘Mr. Monk Is On the Air’ Quotes
Quote from Lieutenant Disher
Captain Stottlemeyer: I mean, we don't even know if a little person can get through an 8-inch window.
Lieutenant Disher: Sure they could.
Captain Stottlemeyer: It's awful small.
Lieutenant Disher: Monk, could a little person fit through an 8-inch window?
Adrian Monk: I am proud to say I don't know.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Look, we don't even know where this Little Willie person was the night she died.
Lieutenant Disher: Well, wait a minute. We can settle it right now. They're all downtown at a book signing. We go down, we talk to Little Willie. If we get a chance, if it happens to come up, we measure the circumference of his head. Then divide it by pi or something.
Quote from Adrian Monk
[As Monk shows Natalie and Kevin home videos of his childhood:]
Natalie: Did somebody die?
Adrian Monk: Christmas morning. Oh, that's me playing Hide.
Natalie: You mean Hide-and-Seek?
Adrian Monk: You still don't get it, do you?
Quote from Adrian Monk
[As Monk shows Natalie and Kevin home videos of his childhood:]
Adrian Monk: Oh, this- This one is my cousin's birthday party. And... there's me.
Kevin Dorfman: Got a balloon there.
Adrian Monk: [about the clown] I don't remember his name.
[On the video, young Adrian asks for his balloon animal to be untied so it's just a long, straight line]