Captain Stottlemeyer Quote #366
Quote from Captain Stottlemeyer in Mr. Monk and the Miracle
Lieutenant Disher: McCloskey's already talking. We're digging up the fountain tomorrow too. I'm sorry you had to go through all that.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I'm not.
Lieutenant Disher: How's that?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I'm not sorry. [chuckles] I know it's all a hoax. I know it's a big con game. But It felt real. That's all I can say. Randy, when I drank that water, something happened. It was like a slate inside me was wiped clean and I started over. It felt great. Hey, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna call my son. Oh, no, no, hang on. Wait a minute. Um, I almost forgot. This is for you. [hands Disher a razor] Merry Christmas. [answers phone] Jared, hey! I was just about to call you. Yeah, I love you too.
Lieutenant Disher: It's a razor. Is this for me?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Shave it.
‘Mr. Monk and the Miracle’ Quotes
Quote from Adrian Monk
Adrian Monk: Captain. Captain. Captain, you can't go to Spain without knowing the truth.
Man: Ssh.
Adrian Monk: It wasn't a miracle. The water, the fountain, it was all a hoax.
Natalie: I'm sorry, captain.
Adrian Monk: It was the pharmacist, Owen McCloskey.
Natalie: He killed Willie T.
Captain Stottlemeyer: [chants with monks]
Adrian Monk: [deep, in tune with chant] Here's what happened. McCloskey killed his partner and buried him here. Nine years later, planning to renovate, body would be discovered.
Natalie: [ditto] He couldn't dig up the body. They had built a fountain there.
Adrian Monk: He had to stop them from digging. He started changing their prescriptions to make his patients sicker.
Natalie: That's why you never got better.
Adrian Monk: He did it to everyone. He painted that sign on your door. Willie the bum must have seen him. That's why McCloskey killed him.
All: Amen.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Natalie: Sorry I'm late.
Adrian Monk: What's that?
Natalie: I forgot the gravy for Monday night, the big dinner.
Adrian Monk: You wasted a trip. They make their own gravy.
Natalie: Who makes their own gravy?
Adrian Monk: Bums.
Natalie: "Bums make their own gravy." What does that even mean?
Adrian Monk: You don't wanna know.
Quote from Adrian Monk
Natalie: Mr. Monk, look at all these people. They really believe in it.
Adrian Monk: Well, they're people. They'll believe anything.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, you should try it. You should drink from the fountain.
Adrian Monk: You can't be serious.
Natalie: You're in so much pain all the time, you know? What if there's something to it? You know? I mean, anything's possible.
Adrian Monk: That's not exactly true. A lot of things are what we call impossible. It's the opposite of possible. I get it. I'll give you an example. Um, this.