Adrian Monk Quote #1995

Quote from Adrian Monk in Mr. Monk Buys a House

Lieutenant Disher: So how's the new house?
Adrian Monk: Uh, I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to think about it. Every 20 minutes it's something else. Something is rusted or corroded... Or falling apart or about to fall apart.
Lieutenant Disher: Wow, I can't wait to see it.
Adrian Monk: It's like nightmare except for the part where you wake up and it's all over. Why didn't you warn me?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I did. I tried to. I think we all did.
Adrian Monk: Well, why didn't you tie me down and shoot me in the leg? What's the good of having a gun If you don't shoot your friend in the leg when he's about to buy an old house?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Next time I will, I promise.

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 ‘Mr. Monk Buys a House’ Quotes

Quote from Adrian Monk

Captain Stottlemeyer: Holy moly, what happened here?
Adrian Monk: I should never have bought this house. I should've waited for something better to come along. Like death.

Quote from Dr. Bell

Dr. Bell: Summit Creek. That's your brand, isn't it? Glass exactly... half filled. Or would you call it half empty?

Quote from Dr. Bell

Dr. Bell: Mr. Monk. Neven Bell. [shakes Monk's hand] I've been looking forward to this. [offers] Wipe?